Decide to decide

In life, sometimes it's not all about me and what I want.


I have found that recently this statement has particularly been true.


I am a stubborn person.  I have always been one that is quite determined once I have set my mind on something.  But let's face it, sometimes things just don't go our way.  The Lord has other plans in mind.  And boy, am I glad that He knows best. 


The Sunday after Christmas, Dan and I were asked to speak in church.  While researching and getting ready, I stumbled across a talk called, Decide to Decide.  After reading through it, I realized it was just what I was looking for.  But it wasn't until a few weeks after giving my talk that I realized just how perfect it was for me.  It's message talks about deciding to do something.  Deciding to make a decision long before the situation arises.  Deciding what we will do in advance when we are faced with a challenge.  Does that make sense? It's kind of confusing at first, but once I thought about it, it really struck me. 


These last few days have really got me thinking.  I have decided that I am going to Decide to decide in all aspects of my life.  Specifically in spiritual aspects of my life.  I have decided that as the Lord guides my life, I can choose how I react to the trials and blessings I am given.  I am just starting.  I am at square one, but I am trying.


This past week, our family has been given another trial.  Just after the holidays were over, we were blessed to find out that I was expecting again.  We were thrilled, but a little worried as well because of our previous experience.  But soon I was having my "all-day-sickness" like I had with Alayna, so we were reassured.  I was not feeling well at all and barely able to get off the couch some days.  But within a few weeks I was starting to not feel as miserable and the Lord truly blessed me.  Alayna and I were able to get out more and start resuming our normal lives.  Sure, I still felt miserable at times, but at least I could get off the couch.


We were feeling pretty good about all the symptoms I was having and I scheduled my first appointment.  While I had some nerves about my first appointment (and I think I always will), I felt good.  But once the appointment started, and I saw the medical student and doctor, my worries began. 


I was supposed to have been 10 weeks along so after the standard physical they tried to listen to the heart beat.  The medical student tried.  Nothing.  The doctor tried.  Nothing.  They asked for the ultrasound to be wheeled in.  The doctor started looking and clearly was not finding what she was looking for.  Again, they tried to comfort me by telling me I had all the symptoms and possibly I am not as far along and they thought.  They ordered some blood tests and another ultrasound.  Three hours later I was told I could go home and they would let me know.


Not an hour had passed by and the doctor called to tell me that I was having a miscarriage and I would need to schedule a D and C.


Not again!  I couldn't believe it.  I really was taken by surprise.  What about all my symptoms?  Dan, of course, was the perfect comfort and we leaned on each other once again.


The next morning my doctor called me again and told me there were some things concerning her.  My symptoms of morning sickness and insomnia and my hormone level being so high, to name a few.  She told me that after consulting another doctor, they thought I might have a molar pregnancy.  She went on to explain that although, they won't know if that really is the case until they send some of my tissue off to be tested after the surgery, they needed to do the surgery as soon as possible because this type of pregnancy can be very dangerous to the mother. 


So surgery was scheduled for the next morning.  And while I won't know anything for the next few days, I do know that deciding to decide has changed my outlook.  And while I am still struggling and bawling as I write this, I know that the way I choose to react will not only help me, but it will help my family. 


Are there things that I am struggling with?  YES!  Do I just want to skip over these last few days.  YES! Do I wish I could just catch a break? YES!  But maybe what I choose to do now will effect me for the better later on.


So, we're waiting and hoping and praying....

Currently

Reading: Persuasion By Jane Austen

Looking forward to: My little brother's wedding in March

Stressing about: How much TV my 2 year old watches.  Does anyone else have a hard time finding an appropriate amount for their kids to watch...or am I alone here?

Craving: Peanut butter M&Ms.  (This is a dangerous craving.:)

Wanting: Some motivation to tackle some much needed projects

Proud of myself for: Making some changes in my new calling. (I am the Relief Society Secretary)

Wearing: A cream skirt with a new blue top that I got at Target this weekend.  What is it about new clothes that is just so.....fun?

Avoiding: Doing the laundry that is piling up.  Tomorrow's laundry day.

Sick of: Living out of town.  The 20 minute drive to the "swings" (Playground) is killing me, but we do it because the time out of the house is much needed for both Alayna and I.

Learning: How to manage a normal life with Dan's new schedule.  I'm afraid it might take me awhile to learn how to balance everything.

Suffering from: My peanut butter M&M cravings.

Struggling with: Entertaining a two year old some days.

Overcoming: My lack of blogging.

Hoping to: Live in town someday sooner than later. 

Excited for: Dan's next seven days off.

Relieved by: Chatting with my sis daily.  It's the perfect outlet.

Splurging on: Plane tickets for Adam's wedding.

Some pics of our holiday busy-ness



 
With having made the 1000 mile trek a couple of months ago, Dan and I decided to forgo the long trip to see our families for Christmas and just spend it here. Together. We've done it before and we did it again. Although we missed our families and the fun we always have with them, we still had a great time here.

Our friends from Laramie were kind enough to invite us over Christmas eve and for part of Christmas day, so we could hang out with the adults and Alayna could play with their grandkids. There were all kinds of festivities. Singing, a couple different games, acting out the nativity scene, dinner, chimes, and more. Fun was definitely had by all.

Alayna was asked to be the angel. She loved the pretty dress, but didn't quite make it to her part, so Ashlee took over for her. Here she is with her dress and staff. The angel had a staff, right?

Practicing her part.  She insisted on holding the paper.

Singing. 

Here's a few pics from Christmas morning.  Once she saw the bike Santa brought her she said, "Ah, a BIKE!!!"  It was so cute.
Opening presents.

Sitting in her new chair opening more fun gifts.





Sporting her Christmas outfit. 

Mom and Layna ready for church. 

Along with the holiday season comes my birthday.  The big 2-6.  This picture doesn't show 'em, but I got some sweet new boots and Alayna gave me a necklace with her name on it.  LOVE them!

And right after my b-day comes our anniversary.  SIX years!  Can you believe it?  I can't. 
Here we are six years later and still in love.

That about sums up our holiday happenings and 2010.  It was a good year.  Hope to have an even better 2011!

The blogging break is over

I will pretend that all of you were missing me terribly and it prompted me to get back in the blogging game.

 That.

And certain family members kept kindly informing me that I had yet to give a tour of our house. So here I am finally getting all my ducks in a row.

 Here we go. Let start by a look at the outside of our house. (I just want to note that there is snow in the mountain behind our house. It has been somewhat "cold" here.)

A more close up look of the front.

And a look at the back of our house. We know. We've got some nice weeds going on. We hope in the future that they will magically disappear. Here's the view from the front door. To the right of the front entry way there is a door to the garage. To your left is a hallway leading to Alayna's room, the spare bedroom, a bathroom and the laundry closet.

But anyway, this is our living room. (FYI: the lighting is off in all these pics. Sorry. Every thing has a yellowish tint.)

Another view. You can kind of see a doorway before the entertainment center. That leads to our master bedroom.

Oh, and what do you think of the entertainment center? We finally upgraded from the card table. Not to shabby, huh? In fact when we unpacked it, we both commented that it felt weird having some nice, quality furniture in our house. Everything else we own (furniture wise) has pretty much had a previous owner.

Looking from the couches back at the front entry way.

This is a shot of the kitchen from the living room.

Another picture of the kitchen from the living room.

And yet another view of the kitchen. I have loved the size of my kitchen. I have not loved the sweeping that a kitchen this big entails. :)

This door is the pantry. It is a nice size and I love having an actual space that will fit all of our food/food storage.
Now, let's go back to the master bedroom. Here's a shot from the door way. Who could that little girl be?

A picture from the bed looking out. While in terms of space this room is marvelous, I would have to say that this is one of my least favorite rooms in terms of decorating. Do you ever feel like all the leftover decorations end up in your room and they never achieve the look that you want?

And here's a picture looking from the bed to the bathroom area. The door on the left is the bathroom. And the door on the right is our walk-in closet.

The bathroom. Don't worry. It's not really light green. It's just the lighting again.

And a look into the closet from the bathroom.

Now let's go back to the front entry way. Remember how I said there is a hallway to the left? Well, here it is...mostly. There is a door before the door you see on the left. The unseen door is Alayna's room.

A look into her room from the doorway.

Another view.

What you see when looking out her doorway.  The laundry closet.  I predict that behind those doors is a basket of clothes waiting to be folded.  The joys of life.

Here, in the second door to the left, is the spare bedroom or the computer/craft room.  The view from the doorway.

The wall on the left.

The wall on the right.

Now, the bathroom at the end of the hallway.
A shot from the doorway.

One last pic.

And there you have it. 

Our house. 

I am loving living in something other than an apartment.  The only room not pictured is our garage, but I figured you didn't really need to see it since they are pretty standard.  Dan would probably say that it is my favorite room since it allows me to work on projects that I have long been wanting to do. :)

Hope the tour satisfied our family members until they can get out here in person (hint hint). 

The worst project ever

This seriously was the worst.project.ever.

At least Dan proclaimed that it was. But the end result was so worth it.

First, I need to give a little background. My Dad owns a ranch and when he bought it from the previous owner, everything stayed in the old ranch house. So my dad had the task of going through all the stuff and deciding what was junk, what could be sold to the antique shops, and what he wanted to keep. Once he sifted through everything and had it down to the main stuff that wasn't junk, he was kind enough to ask us (my mom and all us kids) if there was anything that we wanted.

And this little beauty was among the things that I chose.

Ok, so it wasn't really a beauty....yet, but I could see some real potential.

And the best part is the steps can swing in the stool so it looks like.... this:

Now, tell me that is not cool. I mean, I would have LOVED to have a stool like this when I was a kid.

But as you can see, it was not in the greatest shape. It is quite old after all.


A close-up of it's condition. If you look closely, someone even painted carrots in the two corners.

Now, I know you are thinking that the stool doesn't seem that big so it couldn't have been that bad. Why did we proclaim it to be the worst project EVER? Well, I should have remembered from this summer when we refinished our table and chairs, that anything that has round legs is just, well, it just stinks. Dan says that after sanding those blasted chairs this summer, he will never refinish chairs again. Next time we are just buying new ones. It's just not worth it.

Well, this time I thought I was being smart. I told him that we were not going through the hassle of sanding. We were going to strip the paint. I had just stripped something prior to starting this project and LOVED it. It was so fun. If you have never stripped something, you really should.

Anyway, so we started stripping. But quickly realized that it was going to take FOREVER to scrape the 20 layers of paint. I kid you not. There were SO many layers of paint. And I don't know if it was because the paint was 50 years old or what, but it was a pain. Nowhere near as pleasant as my first stripping experience.

So we scraped and scraped and scraped. And scraped some more. Did I mention we scraped? Well we did. We literally scraped for days. We had to take turns because we would get so burned out. I really thought I would never see the end of this project.

And I have to be quite honest. Dan did more scraping than me. There is something to say for men and their elbow grease. They really can just do a better job at things like this. I would scrape forever and still not do even half as much as Dan could. He was just better at it. And well, I was ok with it. :)

So once we finally had the 20th layer of paint off. It was on to the painting. I debated over what colors to use. I just couldn't decide. Should the colors match my kitchen, the bathroom, did it have to match anything? I just couldn't decide.

And this is what I ended up with:

It took Alayna all of thirty seconds to declare this stool as hers.

And why not? She already knows how to put the steps up...

and down.

So, what do you think? Not to shabby for the worst project ever, huh?

Little Gems

Lately, I feel like I have been wanting time to slow down a little. Alayna is learning so much and it has been so fun to watch her grow. But just as soon as she learns one thing, it's on to the next. You moms out there know what I mean. So I want to write down some of the cute things she is doing lately, because I know I will blink and she will have outgrown them and gone on to the next thing.

Here's some of her little gems:

* Alayna can say the "j" sound when saying some words, like Jordan. Actually, that may be the only "j" word she can say correctly. (You better feel pretty special Uncle Jordy.) But when she is jumping on the bed, she'll say, "Mommy, I shumping!" And my personal favorite. Her jammies are her "shammies." And boy does she LOVE her shammies. It's a battle to get them off of her and dressed for the day. If she had it her way, she would stay in her shammies all. day. long.

* She has already outgrown this next one, but it was one of my favorites as well. She loves horses or horseys. They are one of her favorite animals. Only they were sorseys, not horseys. Now, she just says orseys.

* Right now we are working on colors. Her favorite color is blue. I think it's because it was the first color that I introduced to her. So now she'll point at something and say, "Ook. (look) Blue!" And she will sign the color blue at the same time. She is actually pretty good at finding blue things. Now we just need her to move on to the other colors.

* When she is trying to get by someone she will say, "Scuse me. Sorry." It is to die for.

* My last little gem has to do with myself. Nothing to do with what I did, but what someone said to me. Alayna and I went to get our hair cut the other day (We had her's trimmed and mine cut...but I'll tell you more about that later.) and the girl that cut my hair said to me, "So, are you a REAL cowgirl? And is your husband a REAL cowboy?" I had to laugh. It was soooo funny. I have never had someone ask me that before, but she found out we moved from Wyoming and then mentioned that we were both wearing cowboy boots.

Yes. Indeed Dan and I were both wearing boots. If you remember, I got Dan a pair for graduation and I have had mine for a few years now. I LOVE my boots. They seriously are so comfy and I think they are pretty darn cute. Not to mention, they are red.

Anyway, I laughed and told her that no, we are not "real" cowboys and cowgirls. Then she said, "But you were wearing your boots with jeans." Ha. This girl was cracking me up. I told her that in our defense, Dan grew up working on his uncles' ranches and that my dad owns a ranch that has horses on it (although, they're not ours), but it is not a working ranch. We like to ride our 4 wheelers and go camping and bbq. So that's as close as we get. I think she was a bit disappointed.

All day I couldn't stop chuckling to my self. "Are you a REAL cowgirl..."

What do you do when you have a bare wall....

that needs a little something, but that something can't cost a lot of moolah?

Well, you make a collage of pictures using old frames.

Add a little spray paint that matches your decor, sand them some and wala!

I was so excited when the inspiration of making a collage of pictures came to me because I would always feel guilty putting the "old" family picture in the picture box to sit when the current family picture replaced it. I felt like, I payed good money to get those pictures taken and even if they are a little bit out of date, I still want to display them and this was perfect for that.

On a separate wall that you will see in my upcoming house tour post, there are our current family pictures, but this wall was dedicated to the past. If you look close you will see that there are pictures of Alayna when she was a baby and some wedding pictures as well as our family pics from years past.

This picture really doesn't do the colors of the frames justice. The lighting is kind of off, but I LOVE the way it turned out. Who would have known that dollar store frames could look so good?



A few close ups so you can see the colors a little better (even though they still look a little different in person, but you get the idea).